Truth be told, I’m not usually one for traditional New Year’s Resolutions. I find that big bursts of motivation can flame out, so I usually focus on more incremental, but steadier, momentum.
But I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day about the idea of “how good can you stand it?” and it made me think of all the folks (like you!) who have big goals and desired changes in life. Whether or not you’re into resolutions, most everyone can benefit from this idea and I wanted to share it with you.
Here’s the idea: we’re so used to striving and struggling for what we want that we’re not used to enjoying something when we actually get it. The struggle is more comfortable and the unfamiliar joy can be harder to tolerate. It’s weird. It’s uncomfortable. We might start sabotaging our efforts or thinking things like “this can’t last” or “I don’t deserve this.” If you’ve ever heard of The Upper Limit problem, that’s what I’m talking about.
So, if you’re thinking about resolutions or what you want to change this year, maybe the main thing to change is your tolerance level for feeling good. The more joy you can handle, the more joy you can welcome into your life. This doesn’t happen overnight and it isn’t always easy. If you’re surrounded by people who are all about the struggle and who bond over it, stepping away from that into the joy you want (and deserve!) is especially challenging.
But you’ve got to do it.
Stick with me and I’ll help you get there.